Answers for a hard-core Insomniac

Trying to put Lily the Poo to sleep ...

If parents have sex during pregnancy, will the baby be born with a dented forehead?
Yes but mum's orgasm always presses it back in shape.

So if you meet someone with a dented forehead, you'll know their mum didn't come.

If someone has lived in Leningrad and can speak Russia and goes to China a lot, does that make that person a spy?
Only if they have dealings with Malaysian anal-ysts.

Why do men think with their dicks?
It's physiological. Blood rushes to dicks whenever they meet a woman which shuts down the main brain. The small head is actually the back-up brain.

Applying prolonged suction to the swollen dick causes a buildup which in the end cause the blood to be blown back up to the main brain, thus getting it back on-line (refer to National Geographic - How Volcanos Erupt).

Women can make a big difference to the world if they act selflessly at all times and get as many main brains as they can back on-line by using the blow method.

How come I can squirt my O when I do it myself but never with a man in the same room?
You're shy. Tell the man to view via a web cam or from behind a screen. In a pinch, ask him to wear your panties on his head.

When men put on weight, will their dick grow fatter?
Only if they hang the weight correctly at the end of their dicks.

How come tarts like Linda Rabak and Zarina Zidane get away with such public display of their wares when regular girls are still expected to be lily white?
All girls are tarts - regular girls are regular tarts, lilywhite girls are lilywhite tarts.

Only parents think that their girls are muffins and not tarts.

How come Auntie Pidah never got a professional make-up artist?
She does. They all hate her.

Why don't rich prominent figures get better wigs?
They do. Their wigmakers all hate them.

What's the difference between sex and making love?
You do sex to get off; you make love to get your partner off. Tu jer.

Why do married men go with girls who are uglier than their wives?
They don't. Only their wives yang perasan that they are prettier.

Why can't men park their crown jewel properly?
Gentlemen dress left or dress right. Uncouth barbarians park right at centre. You can spot them by their (car) parking habits.

Gentlemen are an endangered species.

Who really fathered Jacko's children?
Sessionists

How come Malaysians who lived in India for a long time don't come back speaking English in Indian accent, but those who got stuck in transit in NY for two hours come back with Bronx accent?
Malaysians who live in India come back speaking Tamil, Urdu or Hindustani in an English accent.

Why is it called a blow job?
Historically, it refers to the famous whalers' cry "Thar she blows !!!" from the book, Moby Dick.

If batu lesung gets thinner with regular use, would dicks too?
No, they actually get bigger. Older men have large and gnarled (scar tissue) dicks.

P/S - I'm one of them.

Why is American football called Superbowl and not Superball?
They're just yanking our chains with their SuperBowl and World Series (only they take baseball) etcetera. They always yank other people's chains.

That's why they're called Yanks.

And why do they call it football when they use their hands a lot?
They elected Bush as president, didn't they?

Is it true only men have a g-spot in their anus?
No, even ladies have them. It's called the prostate gland. Seriously.

Why is it balls in English but telur in BM?
Englishmen kick balls - all types of balls. In contrast Malaymen angkat telur. It's a matter of how they're treated within different communities.

How come no one has found a way to insert silicones in dicks?
Malaysia Boleh - the technology is called susuk and we use precious metals instead of common silicone.

If a girl is a vegetarian, does that mean she doesn't eat cock? What about male vegetarians?
Unfortunately that's true. Likewise, male vegetarians don't eat furburgers. They play with their food a lot though ...

What good is Sarawak Gambir if it makes men feel numb and gives women a blistered mouth?
Same good as when Mat Sallehs use whips and chains. One is chemical, the other mechanical.

Different strokes for different folks.

Now go to sleep, Lily ....