Faithfulness and the Footballer

The EPL season is slowly drawing to its climax, which is a pretty soggy one for us Gooners - and for the rest of the fans who are supporting clubs other than the Shite, Manure and Poo.

Talk will soon start to revolve around the comings and goings (current students of Verbal Filth 101 will appreciate the practice this post is providing thus far) of various footie-workers in Ingerlund.

For all the strained necks caused by the intense kissing of breast-mounted badges during goal celebrations, footie-workers are pretty pragmatic when it comes to deciding on whether they want to stay or move on to something more enticing.

Some cynics say that looking for loyal and faithful players in the EPL is like looking for virgins in KL nightclubs - you can find them but you're not sure whether you really want to.

The truth is that the best players (in both footie and night clubs) are in great demand.

They are chased, wooed and seduced by people who are willing to make interesting offers to bed their services, even when they are already embedded with someone else.

Which makes for some really embarassing moments when they are caught in action, like Mr Spidey below.

"Eh, hang on ... is that plumber really her husband?"

The disgraceful spat between Manure and the Shite over a tender young boy is just one example of how fast dirty laundry gets aired, especially in the British media.

Players with a lot of experience know also that it's not just the size of the wallet that counts but the size of other fundamentals as well.

And despite the best of intentions, sometimes people are just not meant for each other ...

"Can you get it in already?"

And what can be an uglier sight than that of someone trying very hard to make things happen with an impossible partner?

But there are some miracle-workers, like Arsene Wenger, for whom even the impossible is merely another routine challenge.

And what ecstasy it is to behold a successful partnership that goes beyond the sublime, where two very different, and frequently hardened players, come together in a very picture of harmony and togetherness.

"Oooo Raphael, that tickles, you teenage mutant ninja ..."

But of course, while all these sort of magic will make most people happy, there will invariably be the hardcore cadre, the pursuers of perfection.

For them the player that should be bought into their team must be one of the ultimates.

A perfect and compliant player who would not only bend over backwards to give the fans what they want but who would also make it really look spectacular.

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Gooners 3
(Baps 4th, Adikbayor 83rd, Gilberto 87th)

Fulham 1
(Davies 78th)

Twas a bright start with Baps getting one early on but then it went to his head and he killed someone in the terraces twice after being presented with really good chances after that.

We sort of dominated without killing them off - a bit like a cruel cat but then Mad Jens decided he was bored and gifted them an equaliser in the 78th through Davies.

Cesc got his arse into gear and slipped Adikbayor through on the 83rd and he curled one in a la Henry just inside the post past the excellent Niemi (why can't we have him instead of Mad Jens?).

Then we decided to be kind and Adikbayor sent Hleb through only for Arsenal old boy Volz to take him out and concede a penalty which Gilberto converted.

This weekend was all about loyalty and faithfulness.

Volz gave away a penalty to his old club he left as a youth, Phil Neville scored an own goal to equalise for Manure while Rottweilerney scored Manure's 3rd and stuck two fingers at his old fans.