A Cipanese World
Apparently some readers are confused about whether a cipan is a tenuk or a tapir ... or vice-versa ... hmm, better make that "or vice-versa-verso".
A rose by any other name smells just as sweet - but of course, not a cipan ... you think.
A tapir is wot the English call a cipan, or a tenuk.
I think it happened this way ...
Paul Bettany (Dr Stephen Maturin), having bid fare-thee-wells to his friend Russell Crowe (Captain Jack Aubrey) at the port of Penang two weeks ago, was trekking somewhere in the jungles of deepest Perak.
Suddenly his old Orang Asli guide signalled frantically for everyone to stop and shut their gobs up.
"Wot's he found, Hans?" he asked his Eurasian assistant and interpreter (Hans Isaac).
Hans went ahead and after a whispered conversation with the heavily mustachioed guide (A. Galak) came back.
"It's an animal you've not seen yet, Doctor. Come on!" he urged Bettany onwards.
Creeping up to the guide, they peered through the foliage.
"Oh my God, he's lovely! Wot is it?" the good doctor exclaimed.
"Syema, itu binatang apa?" inquired Hans.
"Oh, itu anak cipan, Tuan!" the guide replied, fighting the urge to stand at attention and saluting.
"It's called a cipan, Doc,"
"Wot? A cheap pun, eh? Hehehe ... " his giggles died away at the blank looks he saw.
"No, no, what I mean is we can't use names that Englishmen will make fun of back in Blighty, can we?" he explained.
Hans turned back to the guide.
"Ada nama lain tak untuk haiwan tu, Syema?"
"Di Pahang orang sana panggil tenuk, Tuan!"
"Ishh ... tenuk? Teruknya, tak glamer langsung."
"Orang Pahang memang tak glamer, Tuan!" the state-conscious guide replied.
Hans turned back to Paul.
"The other name is even worse, Doc" he informed. "But I've got an idea."
"Really? What is it?"
"Why not call it Erra?" Hans replied, not quite looking at Paul. Paul looked doubtful in return.
Hans turned to the guide.
"Apa kata kalau kita panggil dia Erra?"
"Tak per, Tuan. Bahasa dia kan?"
"Syema agrees, Doc" Hans informed.
"No, no. It's too pretty a name," he peered suspiciously at his assistant." Wot about that other name?"
"What other name?"
"Wot he said just now - tuck purr or something?"
"Oh, that means it's all right, Doc"
"Jolly good! We'll use that - it'll be my private joke. Let's see ... how do you spell that?"
"T-A-K space P-E-R, Doc"
"Tak per, takper, takeper, tar purr, tar pair, tapir! Tapir sounds right. All right then, we're done here."
And the whole party moved onwards to their destinies.
And that's how we missed out on a really glamorous name - what a relief.
After all, we are already illustrious in our own way - just see below ...
We featured in a seriously arty movie ...
... but we don't turn down spaghetti Westerns ...
... on TV, right back when it was still in black-and-white ...
... Cousin Sid the Sloth in The Ice Age.
And the ladies just love to mother us ...
... among other, er, favours ...
... and you wonder why? ------------------------------------------------------------
Pics googled and credits included where possible.
TELENOVELA fans may want to take notice - Part 4 of A Winter's Tale has now been posted at my Manor. Enjoy ... :D
20 comments:
mak ngai lidah dia.....
a male tapir doing a female taperra.
A male tenuk doing female (....)?
Gitew kaedahnya tapir and tenuk...thanks sir cipan (dengan nada skema)
apasal orang pahang tak glamer?
Manal,
A male tenuk does a female teruk ka?
Gitew la adanya ...
:P
babe,
Basuh pinggan pakai kain batik mana ada glamer ... takde gelang emas sampai siku.
Kalau orang Cameron Highlands ok kot, pasal dia sebut "tuck purr".
Bloody hell is that a tongue or a *speechless*
Well, helllooo Abang Cipaaan *flutters eyelashes*
eeps..both cipan and tepir are ugly. but i guess in the dark it doesn't matter, wot with the slobbering tongue.
Hi Leen!
*flutters tongue and twitches snout in greeting*
Lily,
Can I offer you a tongue bath?
:P
so how many of my kinds have you supped on today?!!!!????
ooh wikipedia said *giggle* abang cipan ni tak suka/amat jarang sekali bersenggama ye?
ant-lover,
Like everyone else, they find me tongue irresistible.
:D
babe baby,
The problem is that everyone we get to woo insists on getting a sound tongue-lashing.
By the time we get through that, they're like not on the same planet anymore. So we're used to being left behind.
Nothing wrong with us - we're patient ...
"Aku bukan jantan cepat tewaaas,
bisa meradang apabila ditolak,
bila diuji, kanan dan kiri,
kau kan tetap ku taji"
Tiada lidah yang lebih agung,
Kalimah cintaku,
Takkan kau jemu-jemu.
Biar jasad kau yang menaggung,
Permainan lidahku,
Relaku cucuuuuuk."
Tam pun tak relaaa, you ... :P
if male is called cipan, female aper? cipanita? muahahhahha..
*cair tgk the tongue*
snots,
Bukan ... kalau female, orghang Ganu panggil "cipan tina".
Cair? Mmmm ... kecur mulut kita dengor gitew ... :P
*throws hands into air, rolls eyes backward/upward/downward*
trust you to come up with a lengthy explanation that does not make sense on your inability to bersenggama.
*heh*
*LOL*
From Erra jadi 'tuck purr'? Kelesss.. :D
Ooh.. I dunno if you watched that draggy syok sendiri movie produced by a certain actress/minister's wife... the heroine yang suka berkemban bore an uncanny resemblance to an Err... err.. tapir. All in the nose, you see. :P
babe,
Aisey ... I think u confuse tapir/cipan/tenuk with the panda la.
Bedo'oh jer(like Lily wud say).
This is the Wiki entry ...
"Little is known for sure about tapirs’ mating patterns in the wild: there is some evidence that mature tapirs mate with the same partner for life, but pairs spend little or no time together aside from sexual activity.[16] Apart from mothers and their young offspring, tapirs lead almost exclusively solitary lives."
We may have intimacy issues but we definitely are NOT pandas.
:P
D-(cup?) mama,
LOL ... hope u don't call her cipan to her face.
Tapi dengar cerita memang kuat menyondol pun ... :D
Kuat menyondol? *rotfl*
Seronokla Pak Menteri... if that is all she.. err.. sondols. :D
d-mama,
Surely not Mak Menteri oso ...???
Ooo... itu mek tak berani naik stage jawabs, Sir Cipan wehh...
I know we are not talking about Mak Menteri yang suka pakai baju kurung kolar bulat berserta necklace baling anjing boleh koma tu kan? =))
Wow ... saya amat teruja melihat post ini ... !
ap-idah,
Elok la camtu ... rasa-rasa tak selera makan 3 hari 3 malam kalau terbayang gitew ...
pugly,
Takkan teruja jer - bila nak diuji pulak ...
*leers
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