Down in the Valley where the grass grows tall ...

Charlton 1
(D. Bent 21st)

The Arse 2
(van Persie 32nd, wonderstrike!! 49th)

... there lived a lady with no clothes at all. Then came a man (snip!)

Just an old school song, folks - sung to the tune of Davy Crockett. Back to footie, then.

It was a weekend that started out a bit weird and ended up pretty hectic for me, so much so that I could not post the weekly match reports of the Big Four minus Shite until today.

The London derby at The Valley was an open game, much to my surprise. Given that Charlton has always struggled against Arsenal, I was expecting Iain Dowie to go for what Curbishley has always done against the Arse - close up shop and hang on for a point.

Then came surprise no. 2 - the Arsenal defence. I mean, I thought that was Newcastle - we were so bad. Toure was never near his sharp normal self, Gallas was lethargic and luckily Eboue and Hoyte did not create any additional problems on the flanks.

Mr Dowie's side could have snatched a point just by playing well above the waist, I mean midfield upwards, sorry.

Surprise no. 3, Hasselbaink was a horror show. How bad was he? I've always admired Jimmy Floyd for his accuracy and strength and his performance in this game made me feel sorry for him. It's bad luck that he came in just as Curbishley went on his sabbatical because I thought he was somebody Curbishley would have relished having in his side.

Van Persie? No surprise there at all, actually.

Robin van Persie has always been someone who, in the same game, would create something so sublime that he seems touched by the angels and then, 10 minutes later screw up so bad that he looks like he's been buggered by demons instead.

Consider this: -
27th minute, yellow card.
32nd minute, great equaliser.
49th minute, fantastic goal-of-the-season candidate.
57th minute, open-goal-miss-of-the-season candidate.

What would be surprising would be van Persie settling down this very year to mature into a really good striker by the year's end. But I'm not holding my breath ...

The final surprise of the weekend ? Well, Son no. 2 came down with viral fever and had to be admitted yesterday - thus the delay in this week's commentary.

Hope everything goes well.
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This week's Arse match commentary was keyed-in on a laptop, in a sleeping-bag, on the fourth floor of a hospital.