Tis the Season to be Jolly ...!
It's the end of the year and some people will be cracking their heads over what to give their loved ones.
It's actually easy - Playstation for the kids and if your parents are still around, clothes for Mom and something nifty for Dad.
But when it comes to the Missus or the Ms ...
Ooooh, that is something to be pondered thoroughly and at length.
After all they are the ones we plunder thoroughly and at length, innit?
So as a goodwill gesture, here are some suggestions for the men out there.
Oh, for all you women readers, here's what you do.
1. Print this out
2. Mark the item you fancy
3. Stick it in his wallet.
You're welcome ...
Here they are ... Sir Cipan's Year-End Gift Selection
The Octopussy
With eight vibrating tentacles, this is something you can hide in plain sight. Leave it on the bedside table as a tabletop decorative piece.
And when you snuggle up at night, reach for it and turn it on.
The Venus Butterfly
This is something for her to wear - discreet and fun. Makes boring functions bearable and long car journeys memorable.
If someone asks, it's a new health belt with a vibrating buckle to work that tummy. It's only a half-lie.
The TICKLE-Popzzz
These are something you can pop into your handbag for those quiet private moments when you have the chance (and inclination) to pop it inside. It's a waterproof, vibrating lollipop and they're sugarfree - but extremely sweet. And they come in 4 fruity colours!
Keep Hidden from the children though!
The ZingFinger
Your man has a great touch? Attach this to his finger and switch it on. Now he'll be just as good, if not better than BOB.
The Dinky Rabbit
Like the ZingFinger, this is an adult Transformer kit - only it's in that familiar shape so beloved by BOB-blessed women worldwide.
The Brush Bunny
Bathroom safe, waterproof and hide-in-plain-sight safe. This is actually an attachment you slip over your electric toothbrush (that you've been having fantasies over) and er, just brush away.
Tell the kids it's just a toothbrush cover.
The Cone
Specially for those who are Zen-inclined and wax lyrical over minimalist designs. Incredibly this has 16 auto programmes that includes an immediate org button.
And it's hands-free. Need I say more?
And top of the list (though it's at bottom of this page - saving the best for last, as they say) ...
The Rubber Duckie
Like me, this innocent-looking rubber duckie is no child's toy. This sneaky bugger is the winner of the Best Sex Toy at the Erotic Awards 2002.
Completely waterproof and it damn well floats too. Works best for those long leisurely baths. Duck him under, flick that button and then lie back to wait for that tsunami to hit you.
All these can actually be ordered here. Really. No kidding.
(Hope that'll be enough for them not to whack me for using their pics ...:D)
To everyone - Happy Year-End (yer end?) Shopping; be it for festive gifts or school gear for the kids.
8 comments:
I knew Ernie and Bert were gay. remember this?:
Rubber duckie, you're the one,
You make bath time lots of fun,
Rubber duckie I'm awfully fond of youuuu!!!
PS. Gilberto rocks, man. He's The Quiet Riot.
pazuzu,
Yeah, that sounds like the same duck.
And ditto Gilberto - in samurai terms, he took at least 10 heads against the Shite.
i didnt see any buttons on my rubber duckie. must have been bloody made in china.
princess,
Like cars, rubber duckies come in two models - auto and manual.
U got the manual one ... :P
That rubber duckie was mistaken by my nieces and nephews as their toys in the tub! Ayayyyaiiiii!
chayang chipan, you plan to get me one of those?
wot happen to my comment?
i only requested for right handed satin glove size 26.
Faria,
U gotta help the kids tell them apart.
The adult ducks should appear different from the kiddy ducks - try applying lipstick on your adult ducks. That should do it. :D
Babe,
Only if you plan to invite me around whenever you use it ... :P
Sicko,
Wot comment? Wot satin glove? Hey, you're Michael Jackson, innit!!?
Post a Comment