A Mickey Mouse Brawl

CARLING CUP FINAL
Arse 1
(Walcott 12th)

Chelshite 2
(Dogfart 20th, 83rd)


Arsene Wenger scored a victory of sorts even before the kick-off just by playing, as he had promised, Arsenal's B-team (albeit with the first team's centreback pairing) for this Carling Cup Final.

With this one move he fulfilled his promise to the youngsters whom he had nurtured and answered his detractors who questioned the scope of opportunities available to young players in the Arsenal squad.

In addition he heaped pressure by challenging Chelsea to prove his convictions wrong - or face the ignominy of being defeated by a bunch of supposedly callow youths.

Moana in contrast put out the strongest line-up he had and even fielded John Terry despite his captain's picking up an injury in Porto which was supposed to lay him up for 6 weeks.

Thus showing how badly Chelsea covet the Cup that we all call the Mickey Mouse and how reliable announcements are when they are issued from Stamford Bridge.

The first 15 minutes saw the young Gooners running rampant with the first direct attempt coming from Cesc in the 5th minute.

This as followed quickly by Baptista letting fly between Terry's legs (a few inches higher and Terry would be applying to join Il Divo as a tenor) which Petr Cech tipped out with an incredible wrong arm fingertip save.

Apart from Cech, Chelshite were living up to their name. Totally turd-ish.

Then in the 12th minute, an angled pass by Diaby off a cleared Arse corner found Walcott with Baptista opposite him.

Walcott took up the ball, touched it through and decisively curled it into the far side past Cech.

The whole Cipan brood (and their Daddy) were on our feet shouting the house down as it went in.

It wasn't to last - as expected Chelsea stole one back when a marginally offside Dogfart sneaked one through Almunia's legs to draw level in the 20th minute - the twat Senderos being too slow to move up and make his offside clear to the linesman.

Totally against the run of play.

The rest of the half was filled with the young Gooners continuing their exuberant passing play with Chelsea counterpunching with the sporadic dangerous foray.

We started the second half brightly but with Robben in for Makele, Chelshite were looking better in attack.

During a sustained Chelsea attack, Diaby whacked Terry right in the face as he cleared a high ball and the England captain was out cold.

With players signalling frantically, medics from both teams raced across to attend to the poor sod. Eventually he was stretchered out with a neck brace and play resumed a bit mutedly.

But it was all Arsenal slick passing from out of defence and across the park. Toure mistimed a free header from a corner in the 77th after Lampard cracks a long-range one against the bar a few minutes earlier.

Then Senderos fell asleep again and Dogfart gained a yard on him before rising to glance home a cross from Robben in the 83rd.

With 7 minutes of injury time, Arsenal press on but it was Shevchenko who came closest when he whacked one against the bar with Almunia beaten.

Then on the 92nd minute Jon Obi Mikel latched onto Toure's jersey in midfield, didn't let go and followed it in with a hard tackle as Toure tried to pass to Cesc.

It was the latest of a series of professional fouls from Chelsea aimed at aborting fast Arsenal breaks by fouling as soon as they lost possession - a tactic frequently employed by Moana's Turds that is yet to be picked up by the referees board.

The normally smiling Ivorian blew his top and went for the Nigerian and all hell broke loose.

All 20 players piled in; both managers and various officials and stewards raced to break up the mass brawl.

Pizzaboy Cesc was in deep tango with Lampard who kept taunting even after they were separated by their managers - obviously worried sick over boyfriend Terry's condition.

Meanwhile Adik Bayor's attempts to separate Toure and Jon Ubi turned into scuffling amidst the melee and he laid one on Bridge's nose, who went down.

When the dust settled, three Africans got the red - the two principal brawlers and Adik Bayor.

Protesting his innocence, the striker almost turned wild and threatened to go for the ref. He only deigned to go off with an Arse physio in attendance and brother Henry was at the touchline to calm him down.

With nine boys against ten men, the Gooners pressed on, incredibly enough and as the final whistle went they were still laying siege to Cech's goal.

If Chelsea seem overboard in their celebrations, it was more out of relief than in triumph.

Losing to this Arsenal side, which had seemed a likely propect during the match, would have been another tremendous blow to them in their adversity-riddled season this year.

We lost but played brilliant football, laid out the England captain and finished off with a mass brawl.

Although we'll probably get fined over the brawl, it was pretty good entertainment - traditional Gooner style.

After all, it's only the Mickey Mouse Cup.

Who on earth takes it seriously?

Next year, we'll put on some of these youngsters on ...

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By the way, those things Chelshite fans were throwing at Cesc during corners seem to be celery sticks. Apparently they tickle their women's bums with celery sticks.

They seem so proud of that they even chant about it ...