How the Sexes Play the Game

The battle for the EPL crown is now over, congratulations to the winners - whose name shall not sully these pristine (well, sort of) pages.


However the eternal battle of the sexes go on, and will continue till the Divine reveals to all and sundry the ultimate truth ...

... that beneath our earth-suits (the one we were born in), our souls are actually sexless.


In the meantime, the theory is that the earth-suit you wear affects the way your brains work.


And this is seen clearly in how the sexes play the game.


Football

SHE loves to go on the offensive and don't bother defending.
If actually attacked, SHE'll just burst into tears.


HE spends all his time trying not to be caught offside.




Tennis


SHE starts at love-15, then love-30 and love-40 and then stop playing the game, or start again at love-15.


HE starts at love-all and then stays there all his life.





Badminton


SHE spends most of her free time whacking at her shuttlecock.



HE keeps trying to make his grow bigger.





Golf


SHE doesn't mind being driven for show but will only putt out for serious dough.



All HE thinks about is how to get his balls into the hole.





-----------------------------------------------------
Gooners 1
(Gilberto 43rd, penalty)

The Shite 1
(Essien 70th)

If we win, we gift the EPL crown to Manure; if we lose, the Shite fights another day - and in case Manure gets docked points (because of a possible illegal arrangement with Everton regarding Tim Howard), the Shite gets the chance to steal it at the death.

In the end the game reflected that quandary - we had them on the ropes but the thought of gifting Manure the crown must have been an extremely horrifying thought to hold in everyones' heads.

And neither was the prospect of losing to the Shite any different.

Somehow we let them look good - Gallas could have buried them with his 6-yard header but since it was turncoat time, he ballooned it.

In the end we gave them so much space that it looked as though all the boys wanted to do was make the Shite sweat and then break their hearts at the end and for Manure to shit bricks till the final whistle.

Just another walk in the park, this was - and Eboue rattling the bar at the very end seemed to sum it up nicely.