Monday, November 26, 2007

One small letter, one BIG cock-up












It wasn't Steve McClaren's fault at all that night.

Really.

Here's the villain, the man who inspired the Croats to unceremoniously boot England out of Euro 2008 ...


His name is Tony Henry.


He's not Thierry "Who?" Henry but neither is he much of a villain.


He sings for his money - and the other day he sang both the English and Croatian anthems before the game.



Well, he's supposed to sing ... mila kuda si planina at the end of the Croatian anthem.

Which means, "You know my dear, how we love your mountains" ...

*snicker, which is bad enough for someone who sees things as I do ... but THEN ...

He sang ... mila kura si planina instead ...

... one little letter which transforms that line to ...

"My dear, my penis is a mountain" ....

Thus England's chances were well and truly cocked-up as the inspired boys in blue proceeded to show just how much, *cough ... bigger Croatians are ...

And oh, but now the Croatian team are looking for Tony Henry.

They want to adopt him as their mascot.

I'm not kidding ... read it all here.

---------------------------------------------------------

Goonerboys ... 2
(Gallas 82nd, Rosicky 86th)

Wigan ... 0


Ever had one of those bonking sessions when both of you went on and on for hours but neither of you seemed able to come?

And after so much humping and pumping, when that release finally came it was so powerful that it was almost as painful as it was a relief?

Well, this game was like one of those ...

Denilson, Diarra, Eboue and Walcott made a pig's ear out of it while Pollitt the Elderly and the rest of the Wigan bunch made us hump and pump that ball all around the stadium.

And Pollitt was only playing because Chris Kirkland failed a late fitness test due to a viral infection.

He threw up in the dressing room.

A Wigan official, while mentioning the incident to the press, coolly said, "He saw the Arsenal team-list".

Yeah, maybe but we needed 82 minutes and Willy Gallas and Niklas Bendtner to nick the three points.

Then again, Manure made a cow's arse at Bolton, innit? Heh!



Cristy got injured when he did this in the Portugal team shower.
The line that formed immediately behind him broke the previous record previously achieved at the Lisbon Correctional Facility showers in 1998.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

As an old faithful fan of West Ham, I remember the time when Ray 'Tonka' Stewart pride and joy was exposed after an attempted tackle on Justin Fashanu of Norwich. This was back in the early 80s when football shorts were like tennis skirts.

Lily G said...

cristy looks so sweet *hiks*

Desparil said...

was it really a blunder? he could be telling the truth, you know? he is black...

Rt Hon Sir Cipan Nougat-Tenuk said...

mr patel,

You'd prolly have a clearer memory of that incident if it had been Justin 'The Horse' Fashanu who had the, er, 'wardrobe failure' ... lol.


lils,

Eeeeeeyuwwww ... u really got poor taste in men la ... ;}


des,

Nalla may be black but not all blacks are Nalla la ... heh!

pugly said...

Lils is right. You just put a couple of tits on Cristy & he's good to go :-P

Oh, wait. He already has them.

Anonymous said...

apasal dia dok kepit telor?

Lily G said...

babe, cristi mana ada telor

Rt Hon Sir Cipan Nougat-Tenuk said...

puggles,

A-cup, you reckon?

Girls,

Fookey lekap dia nak tertanggal kot ... :D

Leen AshBurn said...

saya malu nak mengaku that i used to think he was cute. then he started to wear pink. hiks.

Rt Hon Sir Cipan Nougat-Tenuk said...

leen,

A'ah ... sungguh sirgay ya ammatz ... btw i think he plays for both teams actually.

Anonymous said...

tak baik buat tuduhan melulu begitu.

Rt Hon Sir Cipan Nougat-Tenuk said...

babe,

There are photos to prove it ... there's this one where he was actually kissing a girl!

:P

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

cristy is very pretty, even if he was a girl.

Rt Hon Sir Cipan Nougat-Tenuk said...

dipthong (are a dipper or a dippee? Of thongs, I mean),

From 50 paces, I would agree but not when the stubble start showing on his face ... I'm homophobic liddat.