Confessions of a straight man

What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine.

Susan Sontag, Against Interpretation, 1966
US author & critic (1933 - 2004)

Knowing that I had graduated from the Aryan Borstal for Brilliantly Wayward Boys, the Minx once threw me a loop.

She asked, "Have you ever had any gay experiences?"

Interesting question.

In my days, it was usual for boys over there to holler and chase a schoolmate in order to gleefully grope a pair of over-sized pectorals.


Or give catcalls and wolf whistles at the jambus* parading below while hanging out at the corridor balconies of the dorms.

*jambu = a young junior boy who happens to be pretty. A jambu ceases being one when he becomes a senior (Fifth Former).

These are pretty much the usual boyish hi-jinks and don't really mean a thing.

But there was something that stood out - it goes like this ...

One day, at the tender age of 16, in the Borstal grounds, I was walking with a friend when a wolf whistle trilled from the balcony above.

I looked up and a geeky senior gave a big smile and said, "Haaaiiii ..." in that typical itch-ified male tone.


Needless to say, I was flabbergasted.


I mean I was an athlete at school. I played rugby and football, got into fights, smoked and generally all-round bad example to young children.



In short, I was the typical Aryan Malay kutu. (*translation - a Malay yob)


And this bookworm geek, with coke-bottle glasses so thick that he could hardly see through them, was saying that he finds me hawt?


I thought it must be some sort of mix-up (he was short-sighted, after all) but no.


By the next week, it was all over the school - Geeky had the hots for me.


That wasn't all - he took to playing sepaktakraw in the courts in front of my dorm every evening.

My mates found out from the seniors that he was trying to attract my attention - that sent them rolling on the dorm floor laughing like the insensitive pigs that they were.

So picture this - there was this geek, togged up with headband and all, looking really gawky while trying to do those heroic takraw acrobatics and everything on the court.

All that - just to impress me.

It was awesome.

Really.

The matter died out soon after, though.


Probably someone who knew me well told him that I'm liable to kick in his nuts if he tried taking it any further.


So I never did find out what it was like to actually have a boyfriend.

So there you have it - I've never had any gay experience.

But I know how it feels like - to be wanted by a man.

Even if he can't really see very well.